Complaint - Order - Proposal

The daily bustle constantly forces us to meet objectives and tasks that we can not achieve and perform in isolation. We live with others, reconciling expectations, resources and availability. The satisfaction of our needs will depend on the ability to resolve conflicts. In different social situations of everyday life we ​​face difficult by lack of a common model for analysis and resolution that allows us to lower anxiety and to achieve short, reach conclusions and concrete projects. If we all want to be right, if we do not understand, if (un) skilled tasks are sterilized and projects fail. The idea of ​​this paper is to present a working model that serves as a reference organizer. It is simply a tool for task groups. Avoid trying to do everything at once (complaint, request, propose) and prevent objections such as: * do not understand what you're asking * you * complaints but does not suggest you get "plaintiff? * If you do not provide a solution, then it is part of the problem 1) OF THE COMPLAINT The Complaint seems built into our culture. It is easy to support the bandoneon on his knee and complain, but we agree that the Complaint does not transform, does not produce big changes. Subjects provokes feelings of anger or sadness and attitudes of aggression or passivity.

However, whining is cathartic. Proof of this is the pot-banging, cheering, honking horns, chants, slogans, banners, popular assemblies, and so on., We demonstrated that daily. The idea is then: Open the Book of Complaints and complaining with desire, with anger, sadness, guilt or adjectives directed at oneself or others. We have reason to complain. As a slogan: "Do not complain if he does not complain?. Come to complain. We hear their cry. Express your dissatisfaction or grief. Ask your claim or complaint. Everyone has a right to complain. He who does not cry mama. Public outcry and show me dissatisfied. I defend my right. Complaints must be meticulously recorded expressed in whiteboard, flipchart or paper, in the first column, and that on the basis of these will work the second time (Order). It is appropriate that a person will function as secretariat noting the complaints to the sight of all, until exhaustion (complaints and carrier / s). Never mind here the causes or blame, that's not what we are looking for, and even shutter the process would be expected. We try to establish the dissatisfaction experienced with regard to needs. If we fall in possible intellectualizations causalities.

If we fall into the trap guilty of quarreling instead of seeking solutions. If you listen to the speech, hear the pronouns "I?," ME?, "M??. "I suffer?," It bothers me?, "It hurts me?. Besides the catharsis, the first time avoids the "insult? the plaintiff or complainant. Here and now is permitted. This improves communication by enabling the complaint as a moment of play. At the same time I connected with the offense, to unmet need and opens the door the second time.

Example: a group of coworkers hire an English teacher to learn the language. After 6 months of learning so many problems have arisen imposing a stakeout. They meet to rehire and overlapping occurs then the complaints, orders, possible solutions. The teacher or a student who knows the model proposes to write a book of complaints. Dissatisfaction of both parties appear like "I'm bored in class?," Lack motivation to study?, "There is lack of commitment?. Resistance can occur to the complaint, people who are not expressed or refuse to complain. For background behind some widely held myths: "I the bank?," Men do not cry?, "I am very suffering?," I'm not complaining, but I will pass the bill?, "The revenge is the pleasure of the gods?. 2) IN ORDER TRANSFORM THE COMPLAINT At this point the situation is decompressed. It expressed the anger, discontent, sadness. There was no censorship listening and understanding. Each one had his chance to demonstrate in a climate of freedom and tolerance. It is important that no one save his point of view. Now is a good time to transform the Complaint Order.

This involves an attitudinal change and a runout. What I miss me I pass another which include asking. Moving from regret to the application is a transformation, a change. Decode what I desire and Order clearly stated as to another. This second stage prevents the usual epithets "beggar?," Plaintiff?, "Demanding?," Dissatisfied? "Claim?," Pretentious?, Etc.. As a game, opens a petition in which to express what I need, what I want, perhaps I can hardly ask or I do not dare to ask. Slogan: Come and ask. Count your needs. Say what you want. Think about what you need and you would like. The other does not have to know your dreams, likes and wants, if you are not stated. We have the right to petition, both peers and the authorities. The communication level we will hear the word "I?, But others are now added, the others who ask, individuals, groups or organizations to which questions. "I will ask you to ....?. "I like that in this group ....?. "It would be good in this company ...?. Continuing with the example of the study group that manages itself and hire a language teacher, in this second phase calls for: "More action?," Fun and enjoyable learning?, "Sweating the shirt?.

Order resistance: sometimes hard to recognize and express the needs and wants. There will therefore be wary of the phrase "I need nothing, I have everything?, Like this one:" I have nothing, I need it?. Both are concealing. Neither too much nor too little. Sometimes you can hear certain nihilism: ask not good, nobody listens. 3) MANUFACTURED IN PROPOSED ORDER In the third stage of the operation we convert the Proposed Orders. It's a way to transform desire into action. It involves a creative movement of the mind to find solutions to the order presented. Memory Usage: It is worth remembering at this point the attempted solutions that proved unsuccessful, so as not to fail again. The adjectives which must be prevented are: dreamy, idealistic, romantic, utopian. Killer phrases may appear creative ideas: "They will not approve?" It is very expensive?, "You never did so?," It's impossible?. Ideas should be allowed and polished so that the proposals are viable. As a slogan: "If you do not give a solution, then part of the problem?. If we use the third ear (analogy of the third eye of Buddhism, Sam Keen), hear the pronoun we, as the sum of I + Others, at a higher level, more inclusive. Students of the example proposed in this performing dramatizations of real scenes at the airport, restaurant, cultural center, phone call, etc..

The teacher agrees, as long as the students go over the vocabulary at home. Proposals Strength: besides the killer phrases may appear: "I do not propose anything appropriate, it is my role?" That is the job of the manager (or delegate, or coordinator, or owner)?. We must encourage proactivity of people (to make things happen) and accept no reactivity (I do only what I'm told). CONCLUSIONS Agree, agree, to achieve consensus. Here tasks are not easy and not dependent on the goodwill of the people involved in the system. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. In addition, methods and tools are required. This is a. As a slogan, that any complaint is transformed into order, that any request becomes proposal, all proposals to be transformed into action, all achievement and celebration becomes a starting point to restart the cycle. CREDITS I took contact with this model via Alejandro Simonetti, a social psychologist and teacher, who taught me as a group supervised exercise training in social psychology (he always remembers the phrase: "Originality is the art of concealing the sources? , which causes a lot of grace).

Noblesse oblige, cite the source. Author's note: For a summary table working model, you can apply to my personal email: carlos_inon@yahoo.com.ar